Friday, October 13, 2006

I met my Grandson the day he died

Well, as you can see, it has been awhile since my last post... just haven't been much in the mood.. shortly after hearing about my nephew, who is fine now.. my daughter called with horrible news about my grandson... I flew to Iowa as quick as I could, to be with her, my son, and their mother.. it was a very sad time... difficult for all of us.. and the mourning, for me, lasted awhile..

I had never met Orrin, before that day.. I estranged myself from my daughter, not on purpose.. and certainly not planned.. nonetheless, true.. I spent the last 24 years expecting the bond her and I had until she left me, with her mother, at 4 years old, would still be intact.. no matter what actions I took or did not take... and on most occasions, the latter.. how naive of me...

But, she wanted me there, to be by her side as her son passed away.. along with her mother, and her brother and sister(half). And this was not going to be one of those times where I neglected her..

Orrin was playing outside of he paternal grandparents house.. a 15 month old, prolly barely walking.. fell in a coy pond and drowned before anyone found him.. Becky was at work, as was the father.. he was in the care of the grandparents.. he was revived, and kept alive by all sorts of machines, until the family arrived, and at about 10:30 am, monday, the 9th of october, they disconnected the last of the machines, and he passed on about 8 minutes later..

Since then.. not much has mattered to be in my life.. certainly not poker.. and certainly not blogging... I pretty much immersed myself in work... coming in early, staying late, working weekends... I kept taking mental notes of stuff to blog about.. and occasionally i would fire up a SNG on Absolute.. but, it just didn't feel right...

Now, today, a little over a month after the loss.. I am remembering how 2 years ago, when I was in a similiar physcological 'perdicament'.. I starting blogging, and the daily writing of thoughts and such helped me.. and since I really don't like working extra hours.. I am going to start blogging again...

I love my children very much.. and I know they know this.. but over the last 20 years I just have not done the things a father should do, in regard to his children.. and it was due to my own selfish needs.. even tho there were mitigating circumstances.. I could have and should have overcome those obstacles.. I can only hope that I am not too late realizing how stupid I am..

So, for my loyal 2 or 3 readers, now you know why I have been absent..

This year in summary, has infact, been pretty sucky...

pnemonia in march
auto accident in july
kidney stone in september
nephew with herniated diaphragm in oct
loss of grandson in oct

I got like 40 bucks on Absolute I built up from nothing.. gonna start playing again and see if I can't make it 400.. :)

See ya in Vegas!!!


Friday, October 06, 2006

News of Baby

baby went in for surgery today at about 11:30 CST they were done about 2pm... out of the three possible reasons for the hernia, baby Kayden had the least complicated one... the best of the worst, so to speak.. he is way way out of immediate danger... they were able to put his inards back in place, and watched his lung begin to accept air... inflate a bit, is how the doctor put it.. and they are going to let his heart move back into position on his own...

it went well.. they said it usually takes about 4 to 5 hours.. so, it went pretty quick.. he got a small incision ( well, some for an adult.. about 2 inches ) where they went in to work their miracles.. and then a smaller on for the scope they put in so they could see things..

Mom and Dad are very relieved as are the grandparents... me too. we were all there all day... praying and what not.. pretty scary, not being able to do much, cept worry...

So, thanks for all the kind words and all the positive thoughts....

He will still be in intensive care, for about a week, and they are hoping to take him off the ventilator later this evening...

There was a huge sigh of relief in that room..

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Requesting good thoughts....

..prayers, vibes and what not..

My brother and fairly new wife had a baby yesterday.. not all is well tho.. will just quote what my dad sent me..

Kayden has a hernia in the upper part of his diaphragm which has allowed an intestine to enter the left part of his chest and deflate the left lung and pushing his heart to the right side of his chest. He is getting only 58% lung function. The doctor will not know the extent of the problem until he goes in and has a look. Could be that the diaphragm didn't grow together in front (this is the less severe option and we are hoping this is the problem as it can be correct the easiest without further complications), Could be a hole or tear in the diaphragm and third there could be no diaphragm at all. Hayden is stabilized on a ventilator now and is getting oxegen and etc through various tubes. If he stays stable for a few days the doctor will do surgery in a week.
He is in the neonatal ICU at Brackenridge Children's Hospital, so we know he is in good hands.

I'm just trying to help console the family and just be available for anything.. feel rather helpless atm....