Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Scruffy!! Your Alive!!

I watched Heroes last night and I am pretty sure that my conclusion is tainted by overly high expectations...

I found it contrived, and predictable.... very predictable... this is not to say I did not enjoy it.. I did... I just knew things were bound to happen that I wish had been played out differently.. Prison Break, to me, is still number one...

I don't mind if online poker is rigged, and I am not saying it is... but if it is, which one of the 'riggers' decided to rig it to let morons take my money?

For your amusement: ( I found 9 and 17 to be most funny )

Airline Cabin Announcements

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the
in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more
entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been
heard or reported:

1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you
just sit where you want) passengers were apparently
having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant
announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture
here, find a seat and get in it!"

2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight
attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've
reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin
lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the
appearance of your flight attendants."

3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take
all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything,
please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are
only 4 ways out of this airplane."

5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express.: We hope
you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed
taking you for a ride."

6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald
Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big
fella, WHOA!"

7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms
in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight
announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead
compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as
hell everything has shifted."

8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard
Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa ...: to operate your seat
belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight.
It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't
know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in
public unsupervised."

9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks
will descend from the ceiling.: Stop screaming, grab the
mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child
traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with
his. If you are traveling with more than one small child,
pick your favorite."

10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some
broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we
arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your
money, more than Southwest Airlines."

11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in
the unlikely event of an emergency water landing, please
paddle to shore and take them with our compliments." *

12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly
among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or

13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta
Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight
attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are
on this flight!"

14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard
landing in Salt Lake City. The flight attendant came on the
intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what
y'all are thinking : I'm here to tell you it wasn't the
airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the
flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo,
Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day, during the
final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it.
After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant
said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please
remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while
the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the

16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than
perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as
Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he
had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.: The
airline had a policy which required the first officer to
stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and
give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that,
in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a
smart comment.: Finally, everyone had gotten off except for
a little old lady walking with a cane.: She said, "Sir, do
you mind if I ask you a question:" "Why, no, Ma'am," said
the pilot.: "What is it:" The little old lady said, "Did we
land, or were we shot down:"

18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the
attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain
in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought
the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate.
And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells
are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way
through the wreckage to the terminal." *

19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd
like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the
next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the
skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of
US Airways."

20. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and
gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this
airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can
smoke 'em."

21. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it
reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an
announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this
is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293,
nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is
good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and
uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax...: OH, MY GOD!"
Silence followed. After a few minutes, the captain came back
on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so
sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you,
the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot
coffee in my lap! You should see the front of my pants !" A
passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing, You should see
the back of mine!"

I don't think Kinky Friedman(sp) will do will in this upcoming election.. hard to imagine a majority wanting a Governor named Kinky. Unfortunately, the other available choices don't excite my voting Genes too terribly much..